I’m not going to lie to you, it’s an ugly night. I’m fighting, but anxiety is currently winning this round. I hate go say that, because I try to keep this blog inspirational and upbeat. I almost decided not to write this. But, this is living with Anxiety. This is what it’s like to be me. I said I was going to be open about my disorder, so here it is:
Tonight is one of those nights that I literally feel like my anxiety is ripping me apart. I can barely think. My mind is spinning. I feel dizzy, sad, scared, hot, and wired.
Honestly, I feel so many emotions, I couldn’t even pick one that stands out the most.
My sister, who also suffers from anxiety, is here. I’m trying to hide my panic attack so she doesn’t see. I don’t want to upset her. She’s having a good night. Trust me when I say that hiding a panic attack is so much harder then it sounds.
I wanted to write this while in the middle of my panic attack, so I can really explain, in detail, what it feels like. But, I can’t think clearly enough to put it into words. I don’t even know what to say.
At this point, I think I’m just writing to try and get my mind off of it.
I am exhausted. My body hurts. I feel like I can’t get my breathing under control. My heart is pounding. If you’re wondering, nothing in particular brought it on. I was just laying on my couch. I was fine. And then, I wasn’t.
I know I’m not alone in this. Chances are that someone reading this is feeling the same way. Just know I feel you. I understand completely. You are far from alone. And, even further from being crazy.
I’m going to keep telling myself that I am strong. This is a temporary feeling that will soon pass.
Here’s to a better tomorrow.
Here’s to being calm and happy. ♡
Photo by: Kari pillow photography. Check her out on FB.
Find me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theanxiousphotog
Follow me on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/Paige_butler_