My Anxiety Tells me that you Hate me.

We’ve all had those days, right? The ones where you feel like everyone and everything is out to get you. The kind of day that makes you want to wall yourself up in your house and never leave again. This is what everyday feels like to those of us with Anxiety. It’s a feeling we have to push through every single day. Anxiety tells us to worry about people talking behind our backs. It tells us to be scared of judgement. It tells us to hide away. But, our heart tells us to love people. It wants us to be open and inviting. We’re social butterflies with social anxiety. We are the definition of an oxymoron.

Anxiety can make it feel like the whole world is against you. It lies to you. It kicks you when you’re down. It’s a constant nagging feeling in the back of your brain. It’s a lump in your throat when meeting new people. It’s paranoia when you walk into a quiet room. It’s fear of rejection. Anxiety is sometimes being afraid to leave the house because you know something is going to go wrong.

Living with anxiety is hard, because you know that when things are going good, it’s just a matter of time before it comes crashing down. It’s depression. It’s distancing yourself from the ones you love. (And being extremely grateful when those people don’t give up on you.)

When something goes wrong, a person with Anxiety will obsess over it. If we make a mistake, we will beat ourselves up more than anyone else is capable of doing. We apologize more than we should, and then feel like we’re being a burden for doing so.

If a person with Anxiety is backing off from you, don’t take it personally. We’re probably scared we’re going to lose you. We may seem unapproachable, but we are some of the most understanding group of people around. We know what it’s like to feel alone, and we don’t want anyone else feeling that way.

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The Physical Effects of Anxiety

Everyone knows the amount of emotional distress Anxiety Disorder can cause. It’s enough to bring anyone to tears. It’s enough to cause the strongest of people to just breakdown. I’ve been seen it bring complete defeat.

All of the emotional effects aside, anxiety can play a huge physical toll on your body.

Exhaustion

Every panic/anxiety attack sucks every fiber of energy out of your body. It can lead to not being able to leave the bed for the rest of the day. Your body and your mind can barely function sometimes.

Muscle aches

During an attack, every muscle in your body is tensed up. Spasms aren’t uncommon, either. Later, when your mind has relaxed, your body still feels like it’s been hit by a bus.

Headaches

When there’s a constant battle inside your brain, it’s bound to cause a headache. Even if just gr8 the sheer stress alone.

There are also several that may not effect everyone, but do effect some. For example: stomach ulcers, migraines, nausea, uncontrollable twitching, irregular heartbeat, seizures, and even suicide. Yes. Even suicide. I’ve seen this disease bring down those who tried to be strong for so long.

If you’re struggling, and feel like you’ve been strong for too long, please talk to someone. Get help.

( 1 800-273-8255 – suicide hotline, available 24/7)

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#Speakup 

So many people suffer from Anxiety Disorder. It’s time to speak up about it and start telling our stories! 

To those that don’t struggle with this disorder, it can be hard to understand. Sometimes verbally explaining it, just doesn’t get the point across. And, I get it. It IS hard to understand. I have it, and don’t even understand it sometimes. 

People that don’t get it, may say things like:

“Just pull yourself together.” 

“Get over it.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

Or my personal favorite: “But, you don’t LOOK sick.” 

I don’t think this comes from a bad place. But, this is common. I do think there needs to be more awareness around the subject. A light needs to be shed. We need to be able to talk about it without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. We need to make people understand. 

Anxiety is so much more than having your random panic attack once in a while. It’s a daily struggle. 

You feel as if you’re drowning…

Suffocating…

Unable to sleep…

You have dark thoughts…

Depression….

You can’t breathe…

And, you can’t escape it…

This really doesn’t even scratch the surface. But, it does show a small portion of the daily struggles felt by someone suffering with Anxiety Disorder. 

If you have anxiety: 

Do not be afraid to talk about it. Do not feel ashamed. Do not be embarrassed to ask for help. Your story matters.

If you don’t have anxiety:

Please try to understand that even though we don’t look sick on the outside, doesn’t mean we aren’t struggling. Don’t be quick to judge. 
#endthestigma #speakup

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Photo credit: Shutterflies Photography

Model: Natalie Fiore