We aren’t going to Ask for Help

People always say things like, “Don’t be ashamed to ask for help.” Or, “If you’re feeling depressed, get help.”

This isn’t bad advice. And, it almost always comes from a good place. Here’s the thing, though: if you’re really struggling with depression and/or severe anxiety, you’re most likely NOT going to be asking for help.

It’s not out of stubbornness or because of pride. It’s just a side effect of depression. It makes you lie to people. It makes you put on a front to let everyone think you’re doing fine, when you are not fine inside your mind at all.

Depression can follow a person every second of the day. Just because you see someone laughing and being social, doesn’t mean their depression isn’t lurking. It’s a disease that’s always there. A smile can hide a lot of pain. Emotions go deeper than a “surface” smile.

You cannot wait for someone with depression to ask you for help. You have to watch for the signs. You have to offer help. That can be in the form of a, “just checking on you” message, or a coffee date.

Little gestures may not seem like they’re breaking down walls, but sometimes those small acts of kindness are the only thing getting a person through the day.

It’s important to understand sufferers of depression aren’t weak, angry, or selfish. They’re just going through something. Love and support go a long way.

Don’t wait for a cry for help. Be the out-of-the-blue help a person may need. You never know the difference you can make.

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My Anxiety Tells me that you Hate me.

We’ve all had those days, right? The ones where you feel like everyone and everything is out to get you. The kind of day that makes you want to wall yourself up in your house and never leave again. This is what everyday feels like to those of us with Anxiety. It’s a feeling we have to push through every single day. Anxiety tells us to worry about people talking behind our backs. It tells us to be scared of judgement. It tells us to hide away. But, our heart tells us to love people. It wants us to be open and inviting. We’re social butterflies with social anxiety. We are the definition of an oxymoron.

Anxiety can make it feel like the whole world is against you. It lies to you. It kicks you when you’re down. It’s a constant nagging feeling in the back of your brain. It’s a lump in your throat when meeting new people. It’s paranoia when you walk into a quiet room. It’s fear of rejection. Anxiety is sometimes being afraid to leave the house because you know something is going to go wrong.

Living with anxiety is hard, because you know that when things are going good, it’s just a matter of time before it comes crashing down. It’s depression. It’s distancing yourself from the ones you love. (And being extremely grateful when those people don’t give up on you.)

When something goes wrong, a person with Anxiety will obsess over it. If we make a mistake, we will beat ourselves up more than anyone else is capable of doing. We apologize more than we should, and then feel like we’re being a burden for doing so.

If a person with Anxiety is backing off from you, don’t take it personally. We’re probably scared we’re going to lose you. We may seem unapproachable, but we are some of the most understanding group of people around. We know what it’s like to feel alone, and we don’t want anyone else feeling that way.

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#Speakup 

So many people suffer from Anxiety Disorder. It’s time to speak up about it and start telling our stories! 

To those that don’t struggle with this disorder, it can be hard to understand. Sometimes verbally explaining it, just doesn’t get the point across. And, I get it. It IS hard to understand. I have it, and don’t even understand it sometimes. 

People that don’t get it, may say things like:

“Just pull yourself together.” 

“Get over it.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

Or my personal favorite: “But, you don’t LOOK sick.” 

I don’t think this comes from a bad place. But, this is common. I do think there needs to be more awareness around the subject. A light needs to be shed. We need to be able to talk about it without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. We need to make people understand. 

Anxiety is so much more than having your random panic attack once in a while. It’s a daily struggle. 

You feel as if you’re drowning…

Suffocating…

Unable to sleep…

You have dark thoughts…

Depression….

You can’t breathe…

And, you can’t escape it…

This really doesn’t even scratch the surface. But, it does show a small portion of the daily struggles felt by someone suffering with Anxiety Disorder. 

If you have anxiety: 

Do not be afraid to talk about it. Do not feel ashamed. Do not be embarrassed to ask for help. Your story matters.

If you don’t have anxiety:

Please try to understand that even though we don’t look sick on the outside, doesn’t mean we aren’t struggling. Don’t be quick to judge. 
#endthestigma #speakup

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Photo credit: Shutterflies Photography

Model: Natalie Fiore

Be an Overcomer.

I sometimes care too much what other people may think, because my mind has convinced me I’m being judged. 


I have had thoughts so bad, and so dark, I won’t say them out loud. 


I have locked myself in my house for days on end. 


I have believed my brain when it told me I was crazy. I was useless. 


I have cried. I’ve screamed. I’ve been silent because my mind told me I couldn’t talk to anyone. They wouldn’t understand.

My brain can be a dark place because of my anxiety. When people ask, “what does anxiety feel like?” I tell them it’s like having a constant all out war inside my own mind. It’s chaos. It’s having 278373 tabs open on your computer, and not being able to close any of them. It’s straight fear. 


Some days, I look back at the hell my own brain has put me through, and I can only thank God I’ve made it this far. I am not going to lie to you and tell you I’ve never had a suicidal thought. I have. I’ve had them more times than I care to admit. And, everytime the thought crossed my mind, I’d pray. 


I’m also not going to lie to you and tell you I’ve got my crap together, now. I don’t.  But, I do have perspective. I have faith. Faith in God, faith in medication, faith in myself. It’s the reason I wake up everyday.


 I am so thankful for my life. I consider myself to be quite blessed. I won’t let my disorder steal my joy away from me. It cannot take my life. 


I HAVE OVERCAME. I AM STILL OVERCOMING. AND, I WILL OVERCOME. 


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